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Matthaeus Flexibilis wrote:

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So a vow that brings a perpetual sin (homosexual relationship - marriage, sex, etc.) is better left unbroken when they as a family are saved? (WCF 22.4 and 7)

That is a good restatement of the third question. What is the biblical case for breaking a bad vow?

I was actually answering another poster (bhooe), but see it went in the wrong location, but ...

IV. An oath is to be taken in the plain and common sense of the words, without equivocation, or mental reservation. It cannot oblige to sin; but in anything not sinful, being taken, it binds to performance, although to a man's own hurt. Nor is it to be violated, although made to heretics, or infidels.

In other words, according to the WCF, any sinful vow that obliges to sin does not bind performance. I think one can make a case for it in 1 Sam 25:20 ff .... David swore an oath (vss. 20-22), sinful oath (revenge, vs.33), and then changed his mind (vss. 33-34) because of the providence of God in sending Abilgail, who asked to assume the guilt (vs .24). I might add she offered restitution (vss. 27-28) and acknowledges what was right (vss. 28-31), as well. In a similar manner, God in His restraining providence has sent His word (see Berkhof) ahead of time saying thou shalt ..... and Christ has assumed the guilt. There is still room for restitution where the parties may care for one another without there being "a relationship" and thus acknowledge what is right .....

Here is how Berkhof describes"the threefold use of the law" in his Systematic Theology (pp. 614-615):

We distinguish:

a. A usus politicus or civilis. The law serves the purpose of restraining sin and promoting righteousness.... It serves the purpose of God's common grace in the world at large. This means that from this point of view it cannot be regarded a means of grace in the technical sense of the word.

b. A usus elenchticus or pedagogicus. In this capacity the law serves the purpose of bringing man under conviction of sin, and of making him conscious of his inability to meet the demands of the law. In that way, the law becomes his tutor to lead him unto Christ, and thus becomes subservient to God's gracious purpose of redemption.

c. A usus didacticus or normativus. This is the so-called tertius usus legis, the third use of the law. The law is a rule of life for believers, reminding them of their duties and leading them in the way of life and salvation.